Single hen

[Phonix]

I need to vent - sorry guys.

 

You might have seen my 'long time no post' thread a while ago - well ive got my meeting with my tutor tomorrow but am so scared that im going to break down infront of her. I don't want that.

 

I broke down just now with one of my friends and felt awful because she had enough going on without my problems (I know some of you do too but you can just ignore my post - she can't ignore the fat, blubbering mess on her doorstep)!.

 

Everything is just getting too much. I can't cope with so many people being ill and me being able to do nothing about it.

 

Also the uni work is piling up and I feel like im struggeling (time on here is my bit of sanity). My grades weren't brill and im sure that i won't be able to get high enough to drag them up in summer so I feel as though I might as well give in right now. Telling this to my friend just made her lecture me about how people look at other qualities but that easy for her to say - she's got the other qulaities and the grades. I just needed someone to talk to not a lecture.

 

And now I just saw replies to what I posted in the 'All things nice' section and it made me what to cry even more. Im fat, i know that, the world knows that. I want to do something about it but im struggeling with uni and work and uni work and feel like im behind so im not quite sure where im supposed to fit in the WW meetings and the gym - let alone find the money.

 

I just suppose I feel at a complete loss and confused and just needed to vent a little and I guess typing into the computer with no-one to but in or tell me im being stupid is the easiest way.

 

Thanks

Stacey

x

[BeckyBoo]

You're not stupid and this place is a great place for putting it all down and I find doing that helps in itself. I don't know wether you're fat or not but it sounds like you've got SO much going on - you can't deal with everything at once. If there are people in your life who are ill then that's something that you personally cannot change so whilst you might have to travel to see them or help practically with their care then those are positive things that you can do for a situation that is otherwise out of your control. If you break down in front of your tutor then OK, that's not nice for you (I HATE crying in front of anyone) but you are a human being and you're allowed to cry if you need to! Your tutor will see how much pressure you are under. I don't know anything about education systems at that level but surely they can take your personal situation into account with your grades and ultimately if you don't get the grades you need you can always re-take, don't give in now, you're obviously capapble of doing really well you shouldn't throw it all away. The weight thing, if you really want to go to WW then why not give yourself a while to allow everything else to settle a little, sounds like your head is so full of everything you need to find space in there for WW before you find space in your timetable otherwise you will cram something ELSE into an already full to brimming life and if it's one thing too many you won't succeed and then you'll feel even worse!! The other way of looking at the weight thing, (in my opinion) is that the weight issue is something you really CAN make a definite difference in. WW and Slimming World and all the other weight clubs are really good. If you give them a good go you will almost certainly see your weight reduce, that will give you something to feel good about and you can get out of the downward spiral you're in and into a positive one.

 

At the end of the day don't try and change things you cannot change, you will wear yourself out. Stop and check which are the most important things to you that you can change and concentrate on those. A little at a time.

 

Lots and lots of love

 

BeckyBoo

[poachedegg]

Awwww - a big fat cuddle coming your way!

 

Hope everything goes well with your tutor today - believe me they will have seen and heard everything and will be able to give you some advice on where to get some support for both your academic issues and your personal issues ........... but only if you let them know that you are struggling.

 

Good luck and come back and let us know how you got on.

[Egluntyne]

Don't try to address everything at once, you will overwhelm yourself. One step at a time.

 

First hurdle.....your visit with your tutor. I imagine that she will have encountered tearful students before, so try not to feel embarrassed if you do get a bit upset. Why not write down in point form the things you want to say, so that they don't go clean out of your head the minute you walk into her office.

 

Try not to get upset about the things that you can't change. Not always easy I know.

 

People do get ill, and it isn't your fault, nor is the fact that their recovery isn't as quick as you would like. All you can do is be supportive sometimes, and that is what you have been.

 

As for the weight issue.......that will keep. Get your studying and exams out of the way before you start any dieting.

 

Wait till you are a high flying corporate lawyer....you won't have time to eat!

 

Chin up chuck.

[Lesley]

Can't say any more than the others - except that the weight will wait.....and when you are ready come and post in the Healthy Eating Chat in the All Things Nice section and there will be plenty of people to give you support in there. Good luck with it all.

[Chickvic]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low, can't add anything different to what has already been said. I'm sending you some (((hugs)))

[Plum]

Oh Phonix you are feeling bad because its all out of your control.

You'll get through today and if you cry then you are amongst thousands of others who would do to.

You want to control something and you think its your weight which is really hard to do when you are so down. Why don't you join the rest of us giving up something for Lent. It doesn't matter if you are not religous and you may lose a bit of weight. I haven't because instead of chocolate and cheese I thought ooh I must make some cupcakes with my lovely eggs and guess who ate them all

Crying in front of your friend was actually very good because it meant she could support you for a change, which would help her. You do need that. You can't keep giving and never doing a little bit of taking.

Chin up girl.

[Alis girls]

Your tutor will have seen all this before so really open up. Then prioritise what u can deal with and leave those for later on the back boiler. What about talking to your GP re help. if you are very depressed counselling or a course of antidepressants might help you see the wood for the trees. Take care and keep us posted. Good luck

[Phonix]

eugh just read this back this morning and i was def in moan mode last night.

 

Going out soon to tutorials and meeting with tutor is at 1.30 so hopefully that will go ok.

 

Thanks for your support guys - menas alot to me.

 

xXx

[craftyhunnypie]

Hiya - I know this may sound daft but I have been in your shoes. I did a course that I wish I hadn't. I had many tearful moments where I couldn't cope, but somehow did enough to pass. I'm a very sensitive person. But someone once told mean that being sensitive shows strength.

I know what it's like. I used to avoid talking about stuff & would rather stay off than talk to my tutor. Don't! It is best to talk to them, that is what they are there for & being paid for. They won't mind people crying. I bet their career wasn't all plain sailing & maybe they struggled. They're not going to tell you are they?

 

You have to do what you feel happy with. I don't know how far you have to go with your course, but if not too long...Go for it! You have the support of all us here.

However, if you feel it is too much, sit down & assess all your options & how you could be happier.

 

Ignore the weight issues for the time being. I think the weight will drop off with all the stress you are having.

 

Best of luck & hugs.

 

Emma.x

[Seagazer]

I can only say that everybody has given you the best advice on here. You cannot change everything. Good luck with the tutor. I'm on the other end of this with my daughter at uni (3rd year) and many, many, many teary phone calls.

 

I hope you manage to talk it through with you tutor and try not to worry about everything else. Sending you ((((hugs))))

[chooklady]

I know exactly how you are feeling right now, I'm juggling too many things at the moment and it all feels like it's going to come crashing down around me. Keep your chin, you will cope, we all do just that some days it's harder than others.

Nicola

[chickenanne]

take a nice deep breath.

 

I guess you'll see this after your meeting with tutor, all I can say is tha they are used to students crying etc in meetings with them: most people only see tutors when they have issues. I hope it went well for you. Don't worry so much, you can do resits or retake the year or whatever - it isn't an uncontrollable disaster, you can jsut take some time out and get your head together if you need to.

[Tiggy]

sorry to hear that you are feeling so down - you can rant on here as much as you like, I had a bad time early last year and everyone here was so kind and had lots of advice. I'm sure things will get better you have a lot do deal with at the moment - take care

[Guest]

Hope you are feeling better today. These things always seem worse last thing at night, I find. And everyone, and I mean EVERYONE feels rubbish at some point....

[chelsea]

 

Ignore the weight issues for the time being. I think the weight will drop off with all the stress you are having.

 

 

I agree. I would take one step at a time and sort your other stuff out before the weight issue. Once you have a clear mind and you are in a more positive place you can then begin to think about your exterior!

 

I am sure its just a temporary blip - part of lifes little episodes that are sent to try us, keep your chin up, do your best to keep smiling and do something to cheer yourself up - even if its dancing around your bedroom for 10 minutes to some crazy music!

 

Take care and feel free to let off steam here anytime. xx

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Loads of great advice on here, as usual, and nothing I can add. Just wanted to say you sound like an amazing young woman - you try to be there for everyone else and try to do your best in everything you do. Give yourself a break - you don't have to be all things to all people, look after yourself first .

 

Hope the tutor meeting went OK .

 

PS the daughter of a friend of mine had an awful year when her father walked out and she ended up on anti-depressants. She was allowed to defer her uni course till the following year.

[Olly]

Hey Phonix, just wanted to add my support - how did it go with the tutor? I hope the meeting has helped.

 

Everyone gets moments like this, and you are doing a demanding course on top of all the other stuff you have going on - you'll come through this. Let us know how it went today.

[Tulip]

Hey Phonix, I hope it went well today. I can't add to the excellent advice the Omleteers have given already. Sounds like you have more than enough on your plate - surely any worries about your weight can wait until things are quieter?

 

Love and hugs.

T x

[Phonix]

Im ok guys. Went to see my tutor today and she was not v. helpful to be honest - she never is lol!

Anyways she just said to put in a mitigating circumstances that will be considered if my may exam is affected but may not be considered in regard to the Jan ones because they I never mentioned anything until after exam results.

 

Im in 3rd year Emma so am all finished by the 24th of May - i'll def stick it out because ive come so far and its all ive ever wanted. Im just glad i didn't want to be a barrister or a top silicitor - far too much stress lol!

I just want to focus on child/family law and have a nice steady job.

 

I got an email today comfirming my acceptance of a place at the College of Law in Chester and im soo excited!! I'll be moving to Chester with one of my present housemates so we're going to look at houses tomorrow!

 

Also just book my holiday flights! Thats why im so desperate to loose weight I don't want to be the chubby chunky one on teh beach with the skinny friends lol!

 

xXx

[Olly]

Well congratulations on getting a place at Chester! Well done.

 

You sound as if you'll need a holiday after this lot ... glad you're feeling a bit better, sorry to hear that your tutor wasn't much help but at least you went. Stick it out, you've probably done much better in the exam than you think anyway.

 

The next year is the one that really counts, get through the LPC and you can forget about studying for a while!

[Plum]

Only visited Chester a couple of times but it looks interesting. You'll have a great time.

Well done staying positive and glad your tutor is supporting puting in a mitigating circumstances form in case you are in trouble.

I reckon getting accepted at Chester will give you the boost you need. You must be good for them to accept you. Well done

 

So where did you settle on for a holiday and when?

[Phonix]

We're just staying in an appartment in Spain from the 25th May - 4th June (we leave at 11.30pm) lol

Had to be back for a 21st party that night! lol

 

x

[riane]

well done you for getting to your tutor and taking control. Enjoy your holiday and enjoy being you. If you are not happy how you look then think about what you do like about yourself and celebrate those qualties. You sound like a very intelligent and together young lady and you have friends who to quote Mark Darcy in BJ love you just as you are. Dont be in a rush to change . Lots of people find that once they relax about their size the weight starts to go.