Old Speckled Hen Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 My step daughter and her OH have just spent the BH weekend with us The poor cat has been banged up in a spare room for three days as their staffie eats cats. I wish I was brave enough to put my foot down and tell them to leave the dog behind. I did at first but she has sort of insinuated herself back into their visits. She sleeps in the bed with them except this weekend as SD is pregnant and they are trying to stop the dogs lifelong habit. The dog trashed the kitchen and threw my Collie out of his bed. Six pints of milk disappeared along with all our beer and we had to have the rugby league final on the telly. AND AND why do they need feeding four times a day? I took myself off to our upstairs tele room and got called antisocial. MY OH and I are exhausted. They have persuaded OH to come "help" with a "little" DIY next Sunday Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr So while they are busy getting in eachothers way with tools I am taking myself off to IKEA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Ooooohh, I was getting angry just reading it! I have a dog but never EVER take her anywhere where she would cause a problem. VERY selfish of them - maybe they'll get a big wake up call when the baby arrives - mind you, if the dog sleeps with them they might have to be careful about it becoming jealous Anyway, retail therapy, good for you, and I don't think you were anti-social, it is YOUR house after all, if you want to upstairs that's entirely your business! Hope you feel better having a rant, families!! BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Overstayed their welcome did they I'm shocked they cannot treat your home like that. I don't mean the meals and tv, younger people are like that, but bringing their dog when they knew you didn't want it, that is so disrespectful, your poor cat and kitchen. I hope your OH stands up for you after this and they don't bring the dog again. Or at least they get a dog crate for it to sleep in. Your cat is part of the family and the dog should be the one shut up. Ikea is calming, enjoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I agree, its awfully disrespectful of them to bring their dog,especially one as destructive as theirs! We have a Staffie,but she is very well behaved & does exactly what she is told. She does however suffer from an excess of enthusiasm & energy She broke out of the garden over the weekend & went to the park opposite to meet people, which is her most favourite thing. However she managed to run straight through on families picnic,trashing the entire thing. I could have died of embarrassment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I've got such a clear vision of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I'm furious on your behalf. I think you need to put your foot down with a firm hand over this, otherwise they will never get the message. Did they not notice the mess and mayhem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I'm furious on your behalf. I think you need to put your foot down with a firm hand over this, otherwise they will never get the message. Did they not notice the mess and mayhem? So am I ! - quite tirght to come and rant! I come from a background of 'not dog/pet people' - we book a cottage when visiting my Mum as Jazz is still a bit bouncy, she does behave though and is crate trained so would never cause any trouble. We've booked into a hotel for the night when visiting my sister next month for the same reason. (we did have to take Jazz with us to Omletina's a few weeks ago and she had to come into the garden in her crate as it was too hot in the car ) I can just picture that picnic Sarah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Which IKEA are you visiting? With you saying the Rugby League final was on, I'm guessing it could be the Warrington one....if so, I live 5 minutes away, so as long as it isn't Saturday, you are very welcome to call in for a cuppa and cake and see my chooks and ickle garden! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Always much more difficult when "steps" are involved I have 2 step children (12 & 15 when we married, now 31 & 34!). My own girls were 2 and 4 when we married. I always left it to my DH to discipline his own children but anything they did wrong wound me up inside far more than if it had been done by my own. Also with your own children you can tell them what you think but I have never been able to do it with the stepchildren. It's probably because they were relatively old when we married. A different relationship entirely I have found and one capable of big stresses! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janty Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Can't you take your chickens with you next time you visit them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Can't you take your chickens with you next time you visit them? As its a step daughter it really has to be your dh doing the talking. He needs to though cos they obviously have no respect. I used to take my old dog to my parents as they didnt mind because he behaved but Roo is bouncy and manic so we put her in the kennel (as well as my parents have moved) You do not take your dog somewhere you know it isnt welcome and let it trash the place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty e Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Eeep, how horrid for you! I can't believe that you have to lock your cat away! Ours hate dogs, and any dog that comes to the house is fully warned that they have to stay in the garden (for their own safety!). Hope you feel better after Ikea I always do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 Thanks everybody. My OH does moan but to me!!!!! We are planning to move somewhere with a smaller house (no room to put more than an occasional friend up) with a little land and he jokes about putting the family in a caravan at the end of the paddock. (little does he know it will be no joke mwahaha ) Always much more difficult when "steps" are involved I have 2 step children I always left it to my DH to discipline his own children but anything they did wrong wound me up inside far more than if it had been done by my own. Also with your own children you can tell them what you think but I have never been able to do it with the stepchildren. It's probably because they were relatively old when we married. A different relationship entirely I have found and one capable of big stresses! That is sooooooooooooooooo true. They are not bad kids, just absolutely thoughtless. Which IKEA are you visiting? With you saying the Rugby League final was on, I'm guessing it could be the Warrington one....if so, I live 5 minutes away, so as long as it isn't Saturday, you are very welcome to call in for a cuppa and cake and see my chooks and ickle garden! Thanks I'd love to but will probably have SD with me With all my posts about grandchildren, christenings and now this I must sound like the step mum/gran from hell. I'm not. we all get on well. It's just that with so many of them (relatives that is ..hubby is one of eight ) I feel so overwhelmed at times. Any way, I've just been down to their room and stuffed all the things they forgot into a black bag and put it into hubby's boot. Looking forward to Ikea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 Can't you take your chickens with you next time you visit them? What a wonderful thought. We have a Staffie,but she is very well behaved & does exactly what she is told. She does however suffer from an excess of enthusiasm & energy She broke out of the garden over the weekend & went to the park opposite to meet people, which is her most favourite thing. However she managed to run straight through on families picnic,trashing the entire thing. I could have died of embarrassment That made me I can just see that. That's what they are like, staffies: like whizzing torpedoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Poor you! I can sympathise - OH's family used to do things like that to us. I used to take myself off for a long walk across the fields, and often got called antisocial. They got over it though, and I really don't mind being antisocial They don't do it anymore - moved to a less attractive part of the country Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 DA I empathise, I hate it when other people visit and take over the house. It's your house, so your rules. If they bring the dog next time make it sleep in their car!! If they don't like it, they don't have to visit again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 DA I empathise, I hate it when other people visit and take over the house. It's your house, so your rules. If they bring the dog next time make it sleep in their car!! If they don't like it, they don't have to visit again!! OMG I wish I was that brave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 My SIL wasn't allowed to bring her dogs here - the good side of that was she made her visit shorter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 We have a Staffie,but she is very well behaved & does exactly what she is told. She does however suffer from an excess of enthusiasm & energy She broke out of the garden over the weekend & went to the park opposite to meet people, which is her most favourite thing. However she managed to run straight through on families picnic,trashing the entire thing. I could have died of embarrassment DD has a staffie cross just as naughty dont you just luv em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Anyone visiting me leaves their dog at home, because CATS live here (yes, that's right, they LIVE here and it's their home too!) and I would not want them scared by a strange dog in the garden. Not to mention the risk of the dog upsetting my hens. What has really shocked me, though, is that - in your house - they let the dog sleep on the bed! For some reason, I find that worse than the other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Marple Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I am shocked too. I would not dream of taking my dogs away with us. They are lovely but still young hooligans. I laughed at loud at your picnic saga Sarah. Arthur is just like that he often tried to escape the garden(at least once a week) to meet the 'lovely people in the park'. Yes they all think he is lovely and sociable not a bad bone in his body. At our house I can put him out of the way if we have visiotrs who aren't sure of dogs. I certainly don't take him (or his brother) to my mum's (and she knows him well). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 What has really shocked me, though, is that - in your house - they let the dog sleep on the bed! For some reason, I find that worse than the other things. Noooooooooo it is used to sleeping IN the bed with them. the thought of a farting(sorry mods, is that allowed?) snoring dog in bed with me Mind you ....... not so different from OH on occasion I MUST be stronger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenanne Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 How annoying for you! Personally I cannot stand badly trained dogs.... over-enthusiastic is one thing, but unable to be left or be told what to do - . How pathetic of them to be unable to realise that in your home, your rules apply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 How ghastly!!! I have never allowed any of my dogs to sleep on beds - they aren't even allowed upstairs. We always check before visiting anyone whether Ruby would be welcome (she's still a bouncy pup) and either leave her behind on short visits, make other arrangement or don't go ourselves. She stays on her lead or in her crate if she's being too excitable.... call me an old bag, but I don't tolerate badly behaved aniamls or children. As someone said earlier.. your house... your rules! This all made me laugh, remembering last Christmas; we only ever see my sister and her very badly behaved children once a year, on boxing day on the way to Phil's folks (we take the dog to see the outlaws as they love her). My sister told me in no uncertain terms that 'that animal' (she hates any animals) wasn't allowed in her house. I made it clear that I wouldn't have contemplated taking Ruby anywhere without checking first and that she'd be scared by the children anyhow. Our visit there is always very short, so Rubes stayed in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solara Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 All 16 of mine sleep in bed with me, but we don't expect to be allowed to do that at other people's houses! If I visit somebody I sleep in our specially adapted van with them. I have a similar, but reversed rule at my house - "Ooops, word censored!"ody is allowed unless they accept that this is where my dogs and I live, so if they are dog-phobic, or their kids are noisy or disruptive, then they just don't get to visit. I do think that when you visit somebody you have to show respect for their family - two and four-footed....it's only basic politeness and I'm shocked that relatives don't even give you that level of polite behaviour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
