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Space Chick

Making a rod for my own back....

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... Before I start this is not a husband bashing thread. My husband is gorgeous, kind, caring and I love him very much. That said..... (and sorry for the very long post!)

 

We have been together for 9 years, living together 7 and a half and married for 5 and a half years. Since we have been living together I have only served him a ready meal once for his tea (chicken fajitas about 7 years ago!). I believe that it is my job to look after him and ensure he eats well. Therefore, I have always made meals from scratch every night, and ensured that he has something nutritious for his lunch every day.

 

I make everything from scratch, my own bread, my own pastry, my own pasta, my own sauces, you get the idea!!

 

What I tend to do is make up batches of things, quiche, pasties, bread rolls, soups, casseroles etc etc that can be quick and easy lunches and I freeze them. Then every night before bed, we decide what is for lunch the day after and take them out of the freezer.

 

I should also add here that I work full time, look after my elderly grandfather who is in his late 80's, run hen parties in my spare time, have hobbies (football, god children etc etc) so I have a full life.

 

Well, last week I noticed that the freezer was running down on supplies, so knew that last weekend I would need to make some things otherwise we'd run out. However, last weekend I was not feeling very well (I have a stomach problem and am back and fo to the hospital for tests at the moment) and so I decided to spend Saturday in bed rather than in the kitchen.

 

So, the point of this ramble! Last night, when we looked in the freezer for todays lunch, there was nothing!!! No suitable food at all. So I said to my husband "Looks like you'll have to buy lunch out tomorrow". He went ballistic!!! Told me that I had let him down, that he can't eat out because I have turned him into a food s"Ooops, word censored!", that I have created a monster in him because he only wants quality food now etc etc etc. We argued for nearly an hour over it :shock:

 

As I have said to him, its a one off, once in 7 years!!!! Indeed I have the day off work today, and I am spending it in the kitchen rectifying our freezer shortage (not having a chill out day like I should).

 

I have told him that he could cook too, that he doesn't know how lucky he is. But last night I was the bad guy.

 

Is it me.......!!!! I mean 1 day in 7 years is not bad going surely!!!!!

 

Rant over :wink:

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Goodness me Debs - it really does seem as though he has had a bit too much of a good thing! Perhaps you ought to do a wife swap with someone like me and then he will realise just how very lucky he is! :wink:

 

I am sure that he will realise that he has been unreasonable - especially as you have not been well. Hope you feel better soon by the way!

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I think that's really mean of your husband :shameonu: But, in answer to your topic title, you may have made a little bit of a rod for your own back. It sounds like you have spoilt him for the past 7 odd years, and he's got used to always having something yummy to eat. I think maybe a little chat is in order, just to point out calmly this was a one off, but you are ill and you need some help too. And if he can't help as he's too busy then you'll probably have to just go out and buy some *glups* ready made meals :lol::lol::lol:

 

Hope you get to the root of your upset tummy ((hugs))

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:shock::shock::shock::shock::shock: am speechless

 

Debs you do too much, it is not YOUR job to feed him, you work fulltime just like he does, he can feed himself he wouldn't starve if you wasn't there to do it trust me!

Do you really enjoy doing everything? if you do then fine, but seriously 1 time in 7 years? he's being a numpty! :lol:

 

like others have said, send him here I will give him a frozen pizza and send him on his way... :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::wink:

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Oh Debs, you sound like Super-Wife to me :shock: . I've never made bread, rolls or pasta from scratch in my life :oops::lol: . And I don't even have a freezer big enough to put meals in!

 

As others have said, send him here - he'd soon be begging to come home :lol: .

 

I'm sure he'll realise that he was a bit (very!) unreasonable when he calms down. (Perhaps the odd ready meal would be a good plan just so he knows how the other half live :twisted::wink: )

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Bloomin' 'eck Debs you are a saint :angel:

 

Both CTB and I work full time although he frequently works long days and has an hour travelling time there and back and works shifts so we rarely get to eat at the same time.

 

He cooks all his own meals every day and on his days off cooks up a batch of something to freeze as well.

 

He also does all the washing up (for me too :oops: ).

 

Point is he wouldn't dream of asking me to cook for him and when I do - he's very appreciative.

 

Send your other half round here for a while too- I'll sort him out! :wink:

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Wow! Your are Super Wife! I am not showing this to my OH - he might get ideas!! :D

 

We certainly don't live on ready meals, but there is normally something in the freezer for a rainy day...

 

Maybe spell out to him just how long it takes to prepare all this lovely food for him. Sometimes people get so used to something they don't see it anymore, and perhaps he has "forgotten" the effort you put in so he can eat like a king.

 

My father never cooked anything, so when he retired, on the recomendation of another retired couple, he took on the responsibilty of "creating" one meal a week. It taught him the work that goes into preparing a meal, and to not take it for granted when dinner is served up. Perhaps you could get your OH to be responsible for one meal a week? Or even a couple of meals a month if that is more practical? He might appreciate you even more then he does already!

 

(Although Mum has to leave the kitchen when he is cooking - it's quite painful to watch apparently!! But he does really enjoy it now, and prepares some really nice food!)

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Hi Debs

 

I also cook everything from scratch, make my own bread, pasta, butter etc. But I don't work full time now.

 

I think it's a complimentt that your DH rates your food so highly that you've turned him into a food s"Ooops, word censored!". However, I don't really see how it's "your job" to do all of this, when you work full time!

 

It sounds like such an over-reaction that it makes me wonder if there was something more behind it. Maybe he was really worried? Maybe he meant it as a joke and it backfired?

 

You've definitely made a rod for your own back, and if you find a way to get out of it please share.

 

Hazel xx

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Sounds like you are rather too good at being Superwoman. It is something that a lot of us are guilty of. We make a rod for our own backs as are too good at multi tasking and being all things to all people. Sounds like your OH has been spoiled and has not appreciated it. He should have volunteered to get lunch out today and to bring something home for supper for you both. I think that maybe you are both at fault here and that you need to have a sit down when the dust has settled to talk it through. However much you enjoy doing the things that you are doing - assuming that you do; they need to be appreciated. If you don't enjoy it all you need to rethink and make sure that it isn't all falling in your lap when things could be shared.

 

I got up early this morning to make blueberry pancakes for lunchboxes as I have been so busy I have been putting bought biscuits in instead. 3 kids and OH all went off this morning and didn't leave a single one - there were about 20 :shock: - I ended up with a biscuit :roll:

 

Keep your chin up Space Chick, you love him but he does need a reality check.

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Of course if you really wanted to get him back you could cook really badly for a couple of weeks and if he says anything you could say that you are trying to wean him off being a food s"Ooops, word censored!" :lol:

just spat yoghurt at my screen then... :lol: :lol:

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:lol: methinks that you need to come to some sort of agreement about the fair sharing of household tasks.

 

This is one reason why I am glad that i don't live with an OH; I still make from scratch etc, but it is my choice and sometimes Rosie and I slob out with fish and chips from up the road.

 

A weekend left to fend for himself with an empty freezer will soon settle his hash! :roll:

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:lol: Firstly, I think you're amazing Spacechick - and I guess you enjoy doing it, at least when you're feeling well enough. I like cooking but the idea of making pasta and bread on top of everything else is a fantasy - where on earth do you find the time!

 

I do think that your OH has been a teeny bit spoilt, and as others have said, he probably doesn't realise just how much work these things take, especially as you make it look so easy! Maybe underneath it all he's also worried about your health problem.

 

I'd nominate a day a week when it's HIS responsibility - he can cook, or he can take you out somewhere, but you don't do anything! Maybe also teach him to cook a few meals as well, if he doesn't have those skills, not necessarily making his own pasta, but anyone should be able to cook a few simple things.

 

It's a great bit of ammo to have in your locker though ... be nice to me, or it's ready meals for the next week! :wink: (Actually most of the blokes I know wouldn't blink at that!)

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