Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) I had a phone call today to say that my birth father has been found . I initiated a search quite a few months ago and had really given up hope but he has made contact with the agency. There's good news and bad. According to the social worker in Switzerland (my father is Swiss) he phoned her immediately on receiving her letter. He sounded very emotional, wanting to know immediately if I'd had a happy life and knew all the details like names & dates without any prompting. She said he sounded much younger than 70, intelligent and articulate and handsome ( - yes, just from his voice - the British social worker who phoned me said her colleague was completely smitten ). He has a wife (who knows about me) and 2 children (who don't). He doesn't want contact (which is OK with me actually) but the s/w has taken an apparently unusual step of keeping the case open with a view to contacting him again in 3 months. She said he sounded so caring and interested that he maybe just needs time to come to terms with it and might change his mind. I'm just glad he knows I'm OK (although he doesn't know I'm not a looney after his money which is maybe why he's reluctant for contact ). Edited September 5, 2008 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellekatz Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Thats really great news!! Good luck to you. I found I had a sister I didnt know about last year ( our Mum died with the secret 8 years ago ) and I am really glad we are in touch and have met up. It is a shock to start so here's hoping that you do get to speak to him or even meet him at least once, if thats what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisa33 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 That's great. Good Luck and I hope the outcome is the one you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Fantastic news! Maybe he wants time to tell his other children. I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Oh my goodness, what an emotional rollercoaster you must have been on I am so glad you have found him & that he sounds like a lovely caring person. As for the contact,well maybe that will come with time You sound like a very level headed person,so maybe he is too & he just needs some time to talk to his children & get his head around the news he has had about your life. It must be really difficult & emotional for both of you,but congratulations again on finding him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome! I myself sound very tall and slim . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome! I myself sound very tall and slim . hee hee, me too.....I sound like Kate Moss Good news ANH, hope it all works out well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Oh what lovely news, it will probably be an almighty shock and both of you have emotions up in the air and back again Even if he doesn't want more contact, at least he at least knows you are well and if he does want contact, well - it could be amazing for you both. A xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Congratulations. I hope that it works out for the two of you so that you are both happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 You sound so pleased and that is brilliant. I wonder if he reluctant towards the contact thing as his other children don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 I wonder if he is reluctant towards the contact thing as his other children don't know. Yes, I would think that's probably the reason. If he feels he can't tell his children I would respect that. I don't feel a burning need to meet him (although it would be nice) - I've always just felt sad for him that he didn't know what had happened to me (I knew he and my birth mother found the decision difficult and that he had contact with me when I was born). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 What lovely news :D - bought a tear to my eye (i'm a sucker for a happy news story) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Me tooPam *gives Vicki a big hug* I'm so pleased for you Hon. Bet you've got a big grin on your face! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Wonderful news, im so pleased for you. It sounds like your birth father just needs a little time to take stock - im sure he will want to contact you again when he has things straight in his head and has told his children. I love great news Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 Me tooPam *gives Vicki a big hug*I'm so pleased for you Hon. Bet you've got a big grin on your face! * looks around for hidden camera * Thanks everyone for your good wishes. It feels so natural to share news with you lot - and a lot quicker than phoning everyone you know . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 what a lovely bit of news congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Really pleased for you. Whatever happens, he knows you were looking for him, and you know he cares. You've had a hard time lately with your dad's accident and so on, glad to hear there's something good happening for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 oh vicki, what an emotional time! I'm adopted so can sort of relate to how you feel. I went part way down the route you've gone and you've probably had counselling etc so I'll just say, I hope it all works out for the best and don't be too broken hearted if he doesn't change his mind about contact, I bet there's not a day gone by where he hasn't thought about you. Wishing you and yours all the best. xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Lovely news, Vicki. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackrocksrock Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 This is very good news - congratulations and he will maybe change his mind - I am adopted too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Really nice to hear some good news. All the best. C x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 That's really good news Vicki - i hope it all tuns out as you would wish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Excellent news, I'm so pleased for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubereglu Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 That's great news Vicky and I hope everything works out for you. If it were me it would feel really weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little chickadee Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Great news Vicki. I hope that he does change his mind, but you do seem reconciled to the idea that he might not. Glad you've let him know you're ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...