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Exciting news - disappointing update & *more* sad news

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I had a phone call today to say that my birth father has been found :shock: . I initiated a search quite a few months ago and had really given up hope but he has made contact with the agency.


There's good news and bad. According to the social worker in Switzerland (my father is Swiss) he phoned her immediately on receiving her letter. He sounded very emotional, wanting to know immediately if I'd had a happy life and knew all the details like names & dates without any prompting. She said he sounded much younger than 70, intelligent and articulate and handsome ( :shock: - yes, just from his voice - the British social worker who phoned me said her colleague was completely smitten :roll: ). He has a wife (who knows about me) and 2 children (who don't).


He doesn't want contact (which is OK with me actually) but the s/w has taken an apparently unusual step of keeping the case open with a view to contacting him again in 3 months. She said he sounded so caring and interested that he maybe just needs time to come to terms with it and might change his mind.


I'm just glad he knows I'm OK (although he doesn't know I'm not a looney after his money which is maybe why he's reluctant for contact :)).

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Thats really great news!! Good luck to you. I found I had a sister I didnt know about last year ( our Mum died with the secret 8 years ago ) and I am really glad we are in touch and have met up. It is a shock to start so here's hoping that you do get to speak to him or even meet him at least once, if thats what you want. :D

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Oh my goodness, what an emotional rollercoaster you must have been on :shock:

I am so glad you have found him & that he sounds like a lovely caring person. As for the contact,well maybe that will come with time :D

You sound like a very level headed person,so maybe he is too & he just needs some time to talk to his children & get his head around the news he has had about your life.


It must be really difficult & emotional for both of you,but congratulations again on finding him :D

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I wonder if he is reluctant towards the contact thing as his other children don't know.

Yes, I would think that's probably the reason. If he feels he can't tell his children I would respect that. I don't feel a burning need to meet him (although it would be nice) - I've always just felt sad for him that he didn't know what had happened to me (I knew he and my birth mother found the decision difficult and that he had contact with me when I was born).

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oh vicki, what an emotional time! I'm adopted so can sort of relate to how you feel. I went part way down the route you've gone and you've probably had counselling etc so I'll just say, I hope it all works out for the best and don't be too broken hearted if he doesn't change his mind about contact, I bet there's not a day gone by where he hasn't thought about you.


Wishing you and yours all the best.



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