Prolapsed vent - am I getting it right?

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I had a phone call today to say that my birth father has been found . I initiated a search quite a few months ago and had really given up hope but he has made contact with the agency.

 

There's good news and bad. According to the social worker in Switzerland (my father is Swiss) he phoned her immediately on receiving her letter. He sounded very emotional, wanting to know immediately if I'd had a happy life and knew all the details like names & dates without any prompting. She said he sounded much younger than 70, intelligent and articulate and handsome ( - yes, just from his voice - the British social worker who phoned me said her colleague was completely smitten ). He has a wife (who knows about me) and 2 children (who don't).

 

He doesn't want contact (which is OK with me actually) but the s/w has taken an apparently unusual step of keeping the case open with a view to contacting him again in 3 months. She said he sounded so caring and interested that he maybe just needs time to come to terms with it and might change his mind.

 

I'm just glad he knows I'm OK (although he doesn't know I'm not a looney after his money which is maybe why he's reluctant for contact ).

Edited September 5, 2008 by Guest

[bellekatz]

Thats really great news!! Good luck to you. I found I had a sister I didnt know about last year ( our Mum died with the secret 8 years ago ) and I am really glad we are in touch and have met up. It is a shock to start so here's hoping that you do get to speak to him or even meet him at least once, if thats what you want.

[lisa33]

That's great.

 

Good Luck and I hope the outcome is the one you want.

 

[Egluntyne]

Fantastic news!

 

Maybe he wants time to tell his other children.

 

I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome!

[Cinnamon]

Oh my goodness, what an emotional rollercoaster you must have been on

I am so glad you have found him & that he sounds like a lovely caring person. As for the contact,well maybe that will come with time

You sound like a very level headed person,so maybe he is too & he just needs some time to talk to his children & get his head around the news he has had about your life.

 

It must be really difficult & emotional for both of you,but congratulations again on finding him

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome!

 

I myself sound very tall and slim .

[chelsea]

I bet you are relieved that he sounded handsome!

 

I myself sound very tall and slim .

 

hee hee, me too.....I sound like Kate Moss

 

Good news ANH, hope it all works out well for you.

[One Man Banned]

Oh what lovely news, it will probably be an almighty shock and both of you have emotions up in the air and back again

 

Even if he doesn't want more contact, at least he at least knows you are well and if he does want contact, well - it could be amazing for you both.

 

A

xx

[Goosey Lucy]

Congratulations. I hope that it works out for the two of you so that you are both happy.

[bronze]

You sound so pleased and that is brilliant. I wonder if he reluctant towards the contact thing as his other children don't know.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I wonder if he is reluctant towards the contact thing as his other children don't know.

Yes, I would think that's probably the reason. If he feels he can't tell his children I would respect that. I don't feel a burning need to meet him (although it would be nice) - I've always just felt sad for him that he didn't know what had happened to me (I knew he and my birth mother found the decision difficult and that he had contact with me when I was born).

[hillfamily]

What lovely news :D - bought a tear to my eye (i'm a sucker for a happy news story)

[The Dogmother]

Me tooPam *gives Vicki a big hug*

 

I'm so pleased for you Hon. Bet you've got a big grin on your face!

[theherd123]

Wonderful news, im so pleased for you.

 

It sounds like your birth father just needs a little time to take stock - im sure he will want to contact you again when he has things straight in his head and has told his children.

 

I love great news

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Me tooPam *gives Vicki a big hug*

I'm so pleased for you Hon. Bet you've got a big grin on your face!

 

* looks around for hidden camera *

 

 

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. It feels so natural to share news with you lot - and a lot quicker than phoning everyone you know .

[riane]

what a lovely bit of news congratulations

[Olly]

Really pleased for you. Whatever happens, he knows you were looking for him, and you know he cares. You've had a hard time lately with your dad's accident and so on, glad to hear there's something good happening for you.

[Guest]

oh vicki, what an emotional time! I'm adopted so can sort of relate to how you feel. I went part way down the route you've gone and you've probably had counselling etc so I'll just say, I hope it all works out for the best and don't be too broken hearted if he doesn't change his mind about contact, I bet there's not a day gone by where he hasn't thought about you.

 

Wishing you and yours all the best.

 

xxx

[Jules.]

Lovely news, Vicki.

[Blackrocksrock]

This is very good news - congratulations and he will maybe change his mind - I am adopted too

[Christian]

Really nice to hear some good news. All the best.

 

C x

[Lesley]

That's really good news Vicki - i hope it all tuns out as you would wish.

[Cate in NZ]

Excellent news, I'm so pleased for you

[ubereglu]

That's great news Vicky and I hope everything works out for you. If it were me it would feel really weird.

[little chickadee]

Great news Vicki. I hope that he does change his mind, but you do seem reconciled to the idea that he might not. Glad you've let him know you're ok