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Am I being unreasonable with my kids?

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The story so far... when we moved in to our house 2 years ago, one of the things our 2 sons really wanted was 'pets of our own'. After a lot of research they settled on guinea pigs and we were joined by Chewbacca and Wikkit.

 

Whilst they were in the indoor cage things were fine, but they outgrew it and moved into luxury accommodation in the garden - hutch with permanent adjoining run. They are on a special platform next to the decking, close to the house.

 

The problem is this. DS2 is too small to get into the piggy house to feed etc. without help, so most of the care falls on DS1 (not that they are hard work to look after!). However lately he has lied a few times about having fed them/given them enough hay/warmed up their Snugglesafe pad. Lied, and been caught out, because I won't take the risk of the piggies not being looked after and check up on him - but it hasn't stopped him.

 

I feel it is time to bite the bullet, and the boys have been given a one-month period to change their ways and prove that they can care for their pets properly, or they will be re-homed. Apparently I am therefore the worst parent in the history of the world, ever.

 

I think I've been very patient and that this is quite fair, especially as they want to add other pets (which are more difficult to care for) to the menagerie.

 

What do you think, Omleteers? They're lovely boys but they aren't interested enough in the guinea pigs to bother with them properly.

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Tricky one :?

 

Would you really follow through and re-home, or could you find a supportive friend that would take them for a few days to shock the boys?

 

I think its useful to be taught responsibility early on. When I was growing up I had gerbils and my sister had budgies and we had to look after them ourselves (if we didn't we wouldn't get our pocket money and would be grounded). In fairness, my Mum did still do a lot, but that was because she loved them as much as we did :lol:

 

Good luck :D

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I agree with you, it;s a hard lesson, but one kids should learn IMO, they wanted them so they should look after them and not lie about it. Cheeky minx.. :lol:

 

I have two kids I know exactly how you feel. MIne have been stopped from getting small furrys for this simple reason, they wouldn't look after them, I would have to.

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In my experience the novelty of pets wears off for most children especially if it involves leaving the house to care for them. I only get pets that live as long as a child's attention span (i.e hamsters) or pets that I myself enjoy having as I know that I will end up looking after them. Guineas can live for quite a while so I think that I would think of rehoming them unless you personally enjoy them. It will be another thing that you will end up nagging them to do and they will get to resent their pets. We have friends who have quite a collection of pets of all shapes and sizes and the children get bored with them all. They had ferrets and 1 child swore blind that they had fed/cleaned them out all week when they had actually escaped a week before and were sitting in a cage at the vets :roll:

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We have friends who have quite a collection of pets of all shapes and sizes and the children get bored with them all. They had ferrets and 1 child swore blind that they had fed/cleaned them out all week when they had actually escaped a week before and were sitting in a cage at the vets :roll:

 

Kids must think us adults are stupid!! :roll:

 

I would say stick to your guns. My three have 2 hamsters and 3 giants African land snails between them. They have been told if they do not look after their pets I will find them (the pets, that is, although :think: . . . . . :shameonu: ) a new home with someone who will look after them properly. ED gets into a tizz when she has to clean out the GALS as they are hers as she worries they would have laid lots of eggs which may have hatched. But I think part of having a pet is looking after it, and that's not just having the fun, its also the caring and cleaning side too.

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Sorry, I agree with the general consensus here. See if a friend would take them in for a week or so and see how long it is before the kids even notice they're not there! It might shock them into action or prove that the little piggies maybe should go to another home.

 

It took my DD nearly two years of nagging to let her have a rabbit because my other two had everything from hamsters to gerbils to mice and i ended up looking after them all. I am pleased to say though that she still, after well over a year, solely takes care and very good care of bunny.

 

Good Luck :D

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Helen, you don't say what age your kids are. I think my response would be coloured by the age of your children. I think it's resonable to expect a 11/12yr old to look after small furries without too much help but not much younger. Our elderly guinea passed away last year (the last of several) and although my kids loved her, I still did almost all the care. Ax

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We've always had lots of different pets with the care mainly falling to me - I will be the mad old batty woman with lots of animals in a few years I think. :roll:

 

My DD got a guinea pig for her 16th and she had complete care of him until.... she went to uni and then it was me!

 

I think you should rehome them with a friend if your children don't step up to the mark depending on their ages. YS had a rabbit when he was about 8 and he 'helped' with the care but most of it fell to me.

 

YS is currently saving up for a tortoise and I'm checking with him every day that he will still want a tortoise when he's a pensioner as I definitely don't want to be left with the care of one. :wink::D

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Personally, I don't believe there's anything wrong with rehoming the animals where they'll be looked after properly. What I think is the problem here is more one of perception.

 

YP, you mentioned in your original post that, when you said what might happen, your kids blew up in your face. That means they currently think you're the villain in this performance. I believe what's important here is for them to realise that if they lose the animals, it's their fault, not yours. Effectively, it's a propaganda struggle.

 

However, how about a bit of an alternative tack? You could perhaps say that kids don't get dinner until the guinea pigs have been properly dealt with, so if it's "inconvenient" for them to look after their charges, the consequences would be both immediate and proportionate. Obviously, you'd need to carry out thorough spot checks once in a while, but daily proof of the job having been done could involve the kids taking a digital photo of the cage, showing full food and water, meaning only a minute of your time.

 

Just a thought....

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That's the trouble with kids.........LMW has a hamster and stick insects. She looks after both but I keep a close eye on proceedings. I usually check that all is well when she isn't around.

 

I have to cut the greenery for the stick insects as I don't want her using my super sharp secateurs. She really wants a snake or lizard :roll: but she has to prove that she can look after her current pets and keep her bedroom tidy 'cause if she has a snake I won't be going within 10 foot of it's accomodation!

 

I have to help her clean out the hamster as the Rotastak is not the easiest thing for small hands to dismantle.

 

 

As for the guinea pigs I would see if they could go on a 'holiday' and if the children aren't fussed then get them rehomed. It's not easy having outdoor pets in the winter.

 

I remember the nightmare of walking dogs, feeding upteen rabbits and my dads ferrets, and looking after a horse (not mine - it belonged to an old lady) before and after school in mid winter.

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I definitely agree with the "no food until the animals have been fed" ruling.

Failing that, I would explain to them that you want what's best for the piggies and it isn't fair not to look after them. Hence unless the kids do it, then you have to find someone who will.

It does depend on age though, as I guess you can't expect 6 year olds to do it... but that's really a judgement a parent needs to make I guess.

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How about no pocket money until the pets have been seen to?

 

That's what I'd do. My eldest daughter Daisy pestered me for months wanting to keep rats. I eventually agreed, bought her a massive cage and all the bits she'd need for Christmas a few years ago and we adopted four baby rats from a rescue. For a while she looked after them very well, got them out every day to play with them but gradually took less and less interest. After about a year they started dying off one by one, mostly cancerous tumours :( By the time there was just one left Daisy was barely doing anything for him, I was. Sadly he too finally passed away and knowing how little Daisy was interested in him by then I didn't tell her he'd died, I thought I'd see how long it took her to notice. I buried him in the garden then I'd left his cage as it was and noticed that she hadn't been adding food or changing the water. A few times I even asked her to do it and she did! She didn't mention that it hadn't been touched. After three weeks I'd had enough though and asked her to get him out so that I could play with him. Her face was a picture when she couldn't find him in his bed! She thought he'd escaped! When I told her he'd died three weeks previously it really made her think. Ever since whenever she's asked if she can have a hamster/gerbil/fish etc I've reminded her of her rat who if it wasn't for me would've been dead in his cage for weeks if it was left to her to care for. He's been gone just over a year now and Daisy is 12. She'll not have another pet of her own now, I know she can't be trusted to look after it. Of all four daughters despite being the eldest she's the one who has the least to do with caring for the chickens :roll:

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Oh Griffin I like your style! I can't believe she didn't notice for 3 weeks.

 

I have to say that YS has had a tropical fish tank in his bedroom since he was 6, he's now 12 and he does everything with them apart from changing the filter (arms not long enough :lol: ) he even nets them out when they die now.

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Was having a similar discussion at work today about animals, it comes up fairly regularly with friends too. We recently got two rabbits from someone whose son (aged 4 or 5 I think) had lost interest. So now we have the chooks, dog, cat, rabbits and fish and I do all the looking after with very occasional help from the children. But to be honest, I don't expect mine to help, even though I had the "can we have a dog?" and "can we have rabbits" etc etc. I think those requests are pretty much par for the course with children, it's just that their concept of time is so different from an adults and their sense of priorities is also completely different. My children still know, without me nagging them to do it, that the animals must be fed, cleaned watered etc at specific intervals, they know that they all (apart from the fish obviously :roll::lol: ) need physical attention and cuddles, and kind words (and occasional sneaky treats! :D ) and I'm sure they will grow up loving animals and being responsible owners when it's their turn.

I guess it depends how old your children are, mine are 4, 7 and 8, and if I nagged them every time an animal needed feeding they'd probably grow to resent the pets, when I know that in years to come they'll love keeping them and will almost certainly treat them well. For now they enjoy the benefits and help sometimes at the weekends.

 

Then again, having kids is a darned good excuse to get more animals as far as I'm concerned!! :lol::lol:

 

BeckyBoo

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I too have "mug" written on my forehead. I look after the buns and fish, OH helps c cats as they pester him. The litter tray seems to be left to moi too -occ if theres a big smelly poo OH cleans it (anyone eating I do apologise :roll: ) i have told them when i get chucks they will be mine all mine - rubs her hands in glee :whistle:

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We had that problem with the rats. You can have as long as you clean them out. Well I did it mostly and on the days I asked madam to do it she would only do half - not that the ratties minded - yay freedom! But like the rabbit and the guinea pig they were really more like my pets (just the children were the excuse to have them), so I didn't mind too much. I'd often hoover with rats on my shoulders and up my sleeves (mainly because they were frightened of it).

But I would stick to your guns - rules are rules. Just a thought, if the little lad can't reach properly, how about having a special step ladder for him to use - it may be that the older one is a bit cheesed off doing more than his fare share of the jobs.

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