Pro - Does anyone else's nest boxes get soaked in rain?

[docsquid]

Sorry for bothering my good Omlet friends, but I am feeling very low at the moment. It's a combination of all sorts of things. It started with breaking my leg last year, which has healed incompletely. This means I can no longer do as many of the fitness-related things as I used to, and in particular have had to give up doing aerobics which have done this for years and years. This has come quite hard, and I miss it very much. I'll also probably never ski again, and this has hit both me and DH who is a fantastically good skier.

 

Then my chest has been playing up although I've been so careful to avoid colds, and take all my treatment, day in, day out, without missing any at all. I am also making great efforts to keep my fitness up despite all the leg problems I continue to have. However the hospital seem to think that I'm not doing so well because like many patients, I'm not taking all my treatment and I'm sure they are going to recommend that I am admitted to hospital and watched taking my treatment so they can "prove" that my declining health over the last few months is due to my "non compliance". They want to blame me for it. It isn't my fault so I don't want to be admitted - I hate it in hospital I can't eat any of the food as it isn't organic or free range, and they won't let you bring food in, so my weight plummets as I eat virtually nothing other than the occasional vegan curry. I can't even eat the vegetarian dishes as they aren't free range or organic cheese. My appointment is coming up on Tuesday and I'm dreading it.

 

I am also very busy. Although retired due to ill health, DH's business has really taken off, with some big orders coming through. In consequence, I'm helping out with this more than usual, and in particular doing the accounts, which I find very stressful as DH will always point out if I've accidentally coded something wrongly.

 

DH is always busy. He always asks me what I'm going to do on a particular day, and if there is any whiff of me not doing something, or sitting down, he will find me something to do. Now I love helping him out, but I do need to rest too - that is part of the reason why I had to retire! He says I can rest, but of course, I then feel guilty as he and his brother have to do all the work. He thinks if I'm on the Omlet forum I am bored and since he has better things for me to do, I end up constantly having to break off what I enjoy doing to do stuff for the business instead.

 

The list of things I haven't got done gets longer and longer - I haven't planted all the seed potatoes, I haven't cleaned out the Cube for two weeks (although I poo pick every day and it is really pretty clean), I haven't changed the Hemcore in the run for about three weeks and I really should be doing this, I haven't done the ironing, I haven't potted on the tomato seedlings, I haven't planted up our permaculture forest garden, I have 18 raspberry canes that need planting etc etc. I feel I'm letting my lovely little chooks down.

 

I manage to do an incredible amount in the day, and start to feel I'm making inroads, only for DH to point out some other thing he wants me to do to add to the list, or something I've had on the list for ages and haven't done yet. It feels like I'm climbing up a slippery pole and very slightly losing the battle.

 

Today, I've said I really need a rest and DH has gone off to do some stuff (mainly trying to remove a rat from our barn) and taken the cat with him (in the vain hope that the cat will catch the rat). I am just trying to chill at home, but I keep seeing jobs I need to do. And although I'm enjoying my photography course, and doing well, I am constantly aware that I'm doing this for pleasure, and really I should be helping DH or doing some of the other things on the ever-growing list.

 

I'm tired beyond belief - I go to bed maybe 9.30 every night after all my evening treatment is done, and would sleep until 9am except the chickens wake me up before then! I just want to curl up and go to sleep all the time and just burst into tears all the time for absolutely no reason at all. DH doesn't really understand because he is one of those people who are enduringly cheerful and just says I should try and be happy - of course when I'm not, I feel I've let him down, and he is just so wonderful, I feel even worse!

 

Sorry to moan, but I'm feeling so low! DH says he wants to go away for a few days and is trying to arrange to visit his cousin in Norfolk, and spend a few days sightseeing, provided I can get the chickens cared for and they decide they will eat pellets rather than poncy mash that I've been giving them.

 

Some chickeny-hugs would be really lovely!

[chick wiggle]

Aww Docsquid, I really dont know what to say to you Maybe a break is a really good idea, a chance to recharge your batteries.

 

lots of hugs and suport flying your way right now

{{HUGS}}

[Lewis]

*sends virtual hug*

 

Hope Tuesday goes ok - and that they'll listen to what you're telling them

 

Hopefully now you've told DH that you need a rest, he'll maybe realise you mean it. Try + enjoy Easter with no jobs to do, and relax for a few days

 

If you can't get anyone to look after them, they should be fine for a couple of days with the grubs + glug filled up - or they're welcome to spend a few days here in the if it helps?

[Shirl]

You really sound exhausted. You need to relax and learn to say no. It does you no good to do everything people ask of you. I really hope you get some time away to relax and rest. You'll feel so much better for it and then you'll be able to face the Drs a bit easier.

 

Chickeny ((((HUGS)))) coming your way.

[Guest]

gosh sarah, that's come as a shock, you always seem so positive on FB and VERY active! Maybe you don't realise that but you're always off doing something or other, nordic walking, wildplay, anchor kits, open days etc etc My mind spins sometimes when i think of all the stuff you seem to cram in!

 

Do you think setting a proper time table would help? you could sit down with hubby and agree a schedule with rest breaks included and then when you're on an official rest break, so to speak, he MUST leave you alone!

 

Re the hospital, they can't force you to go in can they? Maybe have a word with your GP and tell them how you're feeling.

[Redwing]

Oh no hun

 

Thats a lot to deal with

 

I'm sorry about your health, you do need to push to be able to take your own food in to hospital as you need to keep your strength up, most hosptals allow patients own food provided that its nothing that might cause an illness (such a dodgy takeaway)

 

You do need to stop worrying about the little jobs, the raspberry canes will be ok for a couple of weeks yet as will the seed potatoes, the ironing can wait - spinning clothes on a low rev spin and hanging them straight up to dry cuts out the need for a lot of ironing as does tumble drying

 

Speak to your DH and ask for a little slack so you can catch up with some jobs and still have time to relax

 

Push for that short break and take lovely Lewis up on his kind offer

 

Hugs x x

[cathybc]

Big hugs from me too. Sorry to hear you are so fed up. Sounds like you are doing a lot - priortise what MUST be done, congtratulate yourself on what you do do, and the rest can wait. Hope you feel better soon xxxxxxxxx

[Valkyrie]

Here you go squiddy

 

 

Bear sized from me! Hope it all sorts itself out soon - don't rush things and ignore lists - they make you feel worse. If you can manage anything just do the things that you enjoy first. Everything will fall into place eventually. Just get yourself into country mode - relax, get well and don't overdo it.

[bigmommasally]

Big hugs to you Docsquid, you do sound really low and I'm sure that won't be helping your recovery. A break away from everything sounds like a good idea and if it gives to a chance to chat to your OH about how overwhelmed you're feeling then maybe when you get back he will stop overloading you.

 

Would it really matter is some of the jobs that you've listed don't get done at all? Prioritise the most important ones and shelve the rest, take them off the list and forget about them until you feel better and more able to cope. If I were you I would make my health number one priority and the planting of seed potatoes etc would be way down on the list.

 

Take care Docsquid, (((Big hugs)))

x

[Space Chick]

Sending you Big Hugs xxxx

 

I would lock yourself away in a quiet room, don't look at anything that needs to be done and just relax.

 

Everyone needs time to chill out, and when you are in and out of hospital and suffering health problems, you need more relaxation time.

 

Hope things improve soon xxx

[..lay a little egg for me]

Oh dear, so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I agree with others that a) you need a break and b) the hospital can't make you go in and c) talk to your GP about your feelings and the fact that despite taking all your treatments you are not responding well to them. You can choose a different hospital/GP if you are not getting the service you deserve.

 

Sending virtual [[[hugs]]] and remember you are always welcome to vent your feelings on here!

[Blackrocksrock]

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) loads of hugs as you really seem to be so so low - can you not say to DH that you could do with some time off on your own and go away somewhere you can relax and sleep and do whatever you want - on your own though!.

Hope you can get some relaxing time.

[docsquid]

Wow - what a wonderful group of folks you are!

 

Lewis - that is so kind of you. I am really hoping our neighbours can look after the chooks for a few days, but if they can't, I'll definitely take up your offer of a few days away in your

 

We've not had a holiday in a year - only two long weekends away, and even then, my former workplace, for whom I still do some work, were pestering me by phone the whole weekend to get some marking done! A weekend or a few days away would be so wonderful, provided it really is away!

 

No, they can't make me go into hospital, and I'm determined to avoid it. They have a policy on the CF unit that no food can be brought in unless it is pre-packaged in shop packaging with a use-by date (i.e. no home-made food), and no re-heating allowed. So, for example, DH couldn't bring in organic sausages he'd cooked, or or a home made peanut butter sandwich, or home-laid hard-boiled eggs. That makes me even more determined to stay out!

 

I can't really choose another hospital - there is only one regional centre for CF specialist care.

 

Thank you so much for your support. I'm sure things will pick up eventually.

[Chucky Mama]

Sending huge hugs to you Sarah. I can totally understand you not wanting to go into hospital but perhaps a short stay now could prevent the need for a longer stay that may be necessary if things get out of hand. I would try for some serious food smuggling to see you through. I think it is a time of year when a lot of people feel rubbish. It is made worse by the awful weather that we are having and the depressing news in the media all the time. You are doing a lot though - don't be a hero. Have a break and allow time for relaxation. It will all still be there when you get back.

[Plum]

Sorry you are feeling so low and I send you super big hugs to try and make you feel better.

 

To be honest your list of jobs to do doesn't sound any more than most, but the way you feel about it isn't good. Do you think you are sinking into depression rather than being low, worn out and tired? So perhaps the stay in hospital will help you have treatment. perhaps you can rest a bit and catch up on sleep. Could your OH bring you food in and you sit outside in the grounds to eat it? They can't make you a prisoner. Hospital food yuk. If it was me sneaking food in and eating it under the covers would certainly break the boredom.

 

Mind you being made to feel your deterioration is your own fault is enough to make anyone feel low without your illness and problems with leg etc., that must be a lot to come to terms with. Perhaps a second orthopeadic opinion may help

 

Isn't Lewis lovely

[Rhapsody]

Blimey mate no wonder you need a hug! Here- ((((((((docsquid)))))))))

You are clearly a person of uberhigh standards and need to come down to a more mortal level

Ironing is not important, if you have a tumble dryer blast shirts etc with 10 mins on cool and remove and hang straight away.

The chickens will be fine with food water and their luxury accomodation, due to the rubbish weather I havent cleaned out the orange Eglu run in 6 weeks. The chooks are still alive and happy and feisty.

Buy some potatoes when in season.

Ditto raspberries.

Ditto tomatoes.

Tell your OH you either need less to do or a Girl Friday/assistant.

If you really have to go into hospital there are organic ready meal delivery services like this one http://www.mannaorganic.co.uk/ you could stock up the freezer and OH could bring them in for you. Frankly if you do you will get a rest!

 

Be a bit selfish!

[Jules.]

Sending you (((hugs))) xxxx

[BeckyBoo]

Do you think setting a proper time table would help? you could sit down with hubby and agree a schedule with rest breaks included and then when you're on an official rest break, so to speak, he MUST leave you alone!

 

 

Ditto. And also I agree, a short stay in hospital, if you've time to stock up on some FR ready meals might do you good, and your OH! He might notice how much you're doing and you sound SO much like you just need a rest. Not visiting relatives, but relaxing, being taken care of and little bit of pampering.

 

I find it hard to say no when people ask me to do stuff, but you must. You either need to say no, or delegate.

 

Big hugs hun, look after yourself, or better still, get you OH to do it for you!

 

BeckyBoo

[Olly]

Big hugs. I can only sympathise about the health issues, I've never had to combat problems like yours, but you've clearly overcome many obstacles in your life to get to where you are today. Sounds to me as if you and your OH both need a day off from chores/work/worrying because you need his support, and he's preoccupied with other things, so a trip to Norfolk might be just the thing.

 

I hope this gets better - bet you feel better after Tuesday, and remember YOU are in charge of your health, and you know better than most people what works/doesn't work for you. On the other hand, if you were admitted to hospital maybe OH would recognise how much you are doing!

 

Two tips: firstly, I never use the words 'ought to' or 'should do'. There's always an implication of guilt in them! You could do or you might do something, but you don't have to do any of these things; if you're ill, you need a rest.

 

Secondly - I believe in outsourcing! Get one of those ironing companies, just this once, to do your laundry mountain; find someone local who will plant the seed potatoes/raspberry canes, get a local teenager to clean the run and change the Hemcore. It doesn't mean you can't do it, it means you are prioritising other things, such as your health.

 

You've already achieved more than many people will ever aspire to, so don't be too hard on yourself.

[patsylabrador]

I think some of the problem is that men use their energy differently to women. Everything has to be done at breakneck speed and when they do stop and sit down they fall asleep and so don't realise they're not doing anything, then they wake and it all starts again. I don't think men understand a woman's desire to sit.

I once made my family laugh when I told them I thought I would make a very good sniper because I am very good at sitting still.

I've admired how busy you sound, but give yourself a break, you have to be happy too. If you want to sit down and rest, remember how your chickens react when you have to turn them out of the nest box - ruffle your feathers, peck and growl a bit!

Good Luck with the hospital and everything.

[chelsea]

Ironing is not important, if you have a tumble dryer blast shirts etc with 10 mins on cool and remove and hang straight away.

 

 

Be a bit selfish!

 

Agreed.

 

Take your foot off the gas for a bit, everything else can wait.

 

Sending you ((hugs)) also.

[docsquid]

Thank you so much for the suggestions.

 

Lewis, you have taken so much worry away from me! I know that if the neighbours won't help there is somewhere nearby for the chooks to go. Thank you again.

 

The idea of outsourcing - well I could get the Scouts, who are camping with us next week, to plant what is left of our seed potatoes - DH has returned and reported that the rat has eaten half of them anyway! I find cleaning out the chooks therapeutic (but not in this weather), so if it clears up later this weekend I'll do the job (and maybe DH will go to the farm shop to get the Hemcore).

 

I think the idea of using "could" rather than "should" is also very helpful. You are right about men - DH works flat out all day then falls asleep!

 

Right now, he has gone off again to try and fix his rally car which he keeps at his Mum's house, and I'm alone, and able to chill a bit.

[ClaireG]

Lots of ((hugs)) from me to.

[Seagazer]

Lots of good advice on here from everyone. I hope you feel brighter soon and that Tuesday goes ok for you.

 

I think you should definitely try to get away for a couple of days.

 

Sending ((((hugs))))

[TheGirlsMum]

I have days when I think like you I have this, this and this to do and I feel I can't manage them and I feel really bad about it. This includes things like cleaning animals out and ironing and I get myself really down. But then when your least expecting it a day comes along and you just seem to breaze through everything, mine's been today.

 

I'm sure we all put too much pressure on ourselves so chill, as they say here in Cornwall it will get done drekly which means eventually when they get round to it.

Don't worry about Tuesday if they think you need to stay in take it as an enforced break, sneak out to eat and go back for treatment and rest. You wont be able to do the ironing in there...