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**Thread of little facts & things**....2

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Well done Rosie (belatedly!) :clap:

 

Hope you got on ok in London CnB Mum. I commute there three times a week so I'm familiar with tubes, though only my usual journey (Kings Cross to Victoria then walk to work in the morning and St James Park to Victoria to Kings Cross on the way home!). I would prefer not to do the tube bit though, gets a weeny bit busy :roll:

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Something to cheer us up on a dismal day - just had to repeat these...

 

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out it was only an optical Aleutian .

 

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

 

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

 

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

 

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

 

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

 

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

 

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication.

 

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

 

No pun in-ten-did.

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:clap: funny Clare...needed that chuckle!

 

Well I survived, all positive vibes were much needed :anxious: .......enjoy is not a word I would use for most of the last 30 hours, there were high points and very very low ones, but hopefully the next time will be easier :pray: ...and yes there will be a next time, I have to overcome this stupid fear.....can't see me ever doing the tube on my own tho, definitely need a hand to hold down there :roll: but little steps :wink:

 

Fred, I have never lived more than 15 miles from where I was born, spent 3/4 of my 41 years on the same peninsular.....in my entire life have not visited London more than a dozen times and travel has never featured highly on my radar...I went to school and college in the town at the top of the peninsular, then went to work further round the harbour, fell for the boss and have been with him ever since.....I have had a spectacularly sheltered existence.!...it's only since turning 40 I've started to spread my wings a bit...this was the next step.... :anxious:

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Chook n Boo mum, I live in London and the tube is just down the road and sometimes I can use it without thinking but other times I plan a trip into London with plans a,b & c. I like to have tube maps and an A-Z with me. I'm confident helping tourists but not with myself. This week, I'm meeting some ex-Met ladies for a social, a Dickens walk and lunch in an historic pub in the city. Very nervous, I'm not at all sociable, but I'm also really excited. I'll let you all know how it was.

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Low points were mainly fear/relief induced ......turning left out of hotel & ending up in Pimlico rather than Victoria was less amusing at the time than in re-telling :roll: ......and being greeted in Left Luggage with a collection of wide grins and "red bag with white spots" was a high point :wink: ....I'm easily pleased when highly charged :lol:

 

Clare, you know I happily drive silly miles alone with my friend Satnav :wink: which is why London needed to be tackled and overcome...getting there :wink:

 

Have a great time PatsyLabrador...maybe one day I'll tackle the Tube, perhaps for my 50th :wink:

 

As I was toddling about or sat people watching in Victoria Station today, I realised part of my fear is because normally our London forays are executed at breakneck speed as we career from train to tube to taxi...or whatever the chosen route is...I have no time to register the surroundings/signs etc & work entirely on trust that DH or others in charge actually know what's going on....also people in London appear very focussed with little interaction with other travellers...this spooks me :anxious:

 

As I've said, little steps.......and I'm a little bit proud of myself :D

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Been told this afternoon that I am an ugly cow and have a backside the size of a bus! Drunken Irish gentleman and his lady friend were walking through an alleyway near our park as I passed through with my dogs, my phone rang and I put both the dogs' leads into one hand so I could answer it. This lady was trying to beckon the dogs over to her as I was trying to talk on the phone and not fall over, and asking the dogs to stay where they were :roll: Got a drunken tirade from the man when I explained that I'd rather she didn't keep trying to call the dogs to her as I was obviously having difficulties juggling everything.

 

I wouldn't have minded about his comment, but his lady was at least 20 stone and heavily embellished with tattoos... her backside easily made at least 10 of mine :lol: those of you who know me will appreciate how funny his comment was.

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