Single hen

[BeckyBoo]

Because my awful, awful, AWFUL ex-sister-in-law has done it again and I am SO angry that I'm either going to explode, or burst into tears. I can't even BEGIN to say what she has done but as far as I'm concerned (and I am due on so may be over-reacting) it is the most morally bankrupt thing I have EVER heard of and I cannot believe that a)I married someone who was related by blood to her and b) that, sadly, my children still ARE related by blood to her.

 

So what can I do to get rid of some of this anger? It has to be cheap, no free as the ex hasn't given me any money AGAIN so now owes me HUNDREDS of pounds, and it needs to be done in the house as, obviously, I have the children so can't go running screaming down the street smashing plates and ripping up everything of his that is still left in the house. Which is what I actually feel like doing. I've rattled off half a dozen texts which will have achieved precisely nothing except to make me feel marginally better for a very short period of time.

 

What do you YOU do when you're so angry you think you will explode and simply cannot take any more?

 

BeckyBoo

[Blackrocksrock]

Write it down - get it all out and enjoy ripping it up afterwards and not sending it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Oh, Becky . I just feel so awful for you .

 

When my mother did her worst, as you know I let off steam by posting about it on here. It really helps just putting it down "on paper" as you can then put down exactly what happened (which helps you keep your facts straight) and you can get support and encouragement from all the lovely people on the forum.

 

I appreciate that you possibly don't want to post the details here but I would suggest you write it all down anyway. It may actually help you to keep a diary of what happens (and who does/says what) during this really difficult period in case you need "evidence" for lawyers etc and so you can check back to see what really happened. I sometimes forget why I'm in this mess with my mum but a quick check of my "blog" soon reminds me .

[Joojoo]

I'm so sorry that you are having such a horrible time of it Bex I haven't got any useful suggestions, but I just hope that everything calms down for you very soon

 

Re your ex still not giving you any money, have you been in touch with the CSA? They really must be involved now as you can't carry on with nothing coming in I don't know quite how it works as fortunately my ex and I managed to sort money out for DS between us, but I'm sure that even if your ex isn't earning they have to support you.

[PapaJuliet]

My sister used to have a large concrete garage base and a sledge hammer.

 

 

 

 

She still has the sledge hammer

 

 

PJ

[Looney]

Oh my, you really are getting the mucky end of the stick and you really, really don't deserve all this My heart goes out to you

 

When I'm furious I have to admit I usually end up crying.....otherwise I would do something I would regret.

 

The suggestion of writing down how you feel sounds like a good idea, I just wish that we could all give you a proper hug rather than just virtual ones.

 

xxxxxxx

[tiggerlady]

Howsabout an old pillow bashed into a garage wall..sort of slugging it out with it..but polyester,not feathers in case it splits

[Plum]

Hi BB,

I agree with SusanK. I would write a letter saying exactly how I feel, what I feel about her and what I would like to happen to her using all the expletives I could.

Then rip it up and then burn it. It's very therapeutic. You could share it on here but its a family forum so wouldn't be able to express yourself in quite the same way.

 

Look forward to talking to you when you feel better, bit scared at the moment

[BeckyBoo]

Thanks guys, the garage concrete floor and sledge hammer sounds good! Now I wish I still had a log fire, splitting logs would be good too!! In fact a "mutual friend" of the ex and I just rang out of the blue to see how I was.......51 minutes later he was still reeling!! Still, it helped to write it on here and it certainly helped to let off steam to him down the phone. Nothing has changed, she's still done what she's done but I am calmer already and I'm fairly sure by tomorrow I will be like a swan, serene, calm and beautiful on the surface (and still paddling like crazy underneath ))

 

thanks again - you lot are lovely

 

BeckyBoo

[Redwing]

I am so sorry that you are getting rubbish coming at you from all angles

 

You are really due some good luck, you don't deserve this

 

Hugs x x

[Egluntyne]

Make a doll and stick pins in it?

 

Sorry to hear that you have been upset again.

[riane]

I smashed up a shoe rack with an umbrella !!! Worked for me

[HENthusiastic]

Jacket potatoes make great missiles. You can throw them at a wall, pretending its her and your girls can clean up the mess.

[BeckyBoo]

I smashed up a shoe rack with an umbrella !!! Worked for me

 

 

 

Like your style

 

 

BeckyBoo

[Olly]

Tennis racket and a cushion? (Golf club, baseball bat, big stick, pillow, beanbag ... you get the idea)

 

Actually I often find a good cry helps. Writing it down is also a good idea. Write her a letter telling her what you think (no, DON'T be tempted to send it! - but actually telling her in writing your views on what she's done can be helpful). Then have a ceremonial burning of the letter, imagine it's like sending a letter to Father Christmas.

 

There is something else but I'll pm you about it, not really suitable for this forum! So sorry to hear you're still having hassle, but getting angry is much better than getting down about things.

[Lesley]

Well, the replies have made me laugh! - I hope they've done the same for you?

 

I'm a believer in writing it all down......and eventually setting fire to it in the sink.

 

I favour sticking pins in a doll as well......quite therapeutic............

 

but beating up the shoe rack with an umberella has to be the funniest

[BeckyBoo]

I'm with you on that one, although the baked potatoes sounds good, trouble is I don't like waste. Although I did once run out of things to throw at an ex-boyfriend (having already lobbed most of his possessions at him) so ran in and got the fruit bowl and stood outside hurling oranges at his retreating figure. That felt quite good, although wasn't good for the street cred!

 

I'm not a very good enemy

 

BeckyBoo

[Snowy]

Morning Becky, hope you feel a bit better today.

I didn't like to post what I do when I'm that angry yesterday as it gets a bit expensive! I'm afraid I'm a smasher - grab the nearest mug or plate and throw against the wall. It's very satisfying (the greeks know what they are doing with all that plate smashing at weddings) and I find I get un-angry very quickly when I realise I've smashed my best china cup

[Valkyrie]

I do the same as SusanK. When my OH first started working from home it was very hard at first - especially when I had just cleaned the kitchen floor and he brought his now ex-partner brother-in-law in and they both traipsed through with their mucky shoes on to go into the garage - when they could have gone into the garage from OUTSIDE!!! Not to mention other strange people calling without any given notice.

I ended up writing a letter from my solicitor (me - and I only ever did A level law) who was speaking on behalf of me. I got such great delight from it and I ended up laughing because of the penalty fines and charges I was going to issue. I never showed it to him, but it sure helped.

I also told my son to do the same thing - I have noticed from time to time that he has had a ripping session about me when I have gone into his room for something and the sheet of paper has caught my eye. His gripes have never been mentioned to me, but then I think he probably thought better of it because I can always trump him!

When I was younger and used to go to a swimming club, I was so angry because I had been to the dentist and was told I had to wear a brace, that I just swam very hard. Apparently I swam over the top of a boy in my lane - I didn't see him. I did finish my lengths long before anyone else, though. Pity I never could never muster the same speed when racing.

[bronze]

Or if what shes done is that bad I would just let her know about it....

[jackiepoppies]

Send her 5 ton of coal A mountain of sand, to be put in her driveway when she's out Order a taxi to take her to hospital to treat the fit she will have when she sees the sand

[dancing cloud]

I clean things

 

Gets rid of all that excess energy (you can imagine you're scrubbing their face rather than the floor!), you can have a good chunter to yourself while you're doing it, and when you're done you're too exhausted to be angry any more and you have a lovely clean kitchen/bathroom/living room for a while

 

Or I just tell people what they've done and how I feel about it ...

[Mutrix Farmers]

Hope you are feeling a bit calmer BeckyBoo.

 

We all agreed that she was mental after the baptism fiasco, so although she has obviously said or done something that no normal person would, you know she isn't normal.

 

I like the write a letter idea, whether you send it or not is up to you (obviously).

[Minnie the Moocher]

Golly, that's what happens when you stumble on a forum later than others and don't know what's gone before!

 

The Baptism Fiasco sounds like something you'd see billed on a Saturday night's TV and is very intriguing...

 

Hope you feel better soon, Becky. Splitting logs is a great way to release some tension. So is tennis or boxing on the Wii, if you have one.

[Guest]

someone really annoyed me once so I got their photo and mailed it to mingers.com and it was published on the site! I felt soooooooooooooooo much better