chuckmum6 Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Since my mum died in autumn last year, I have really struggled to sleep. I have had tablets and they help for a bit, but I really don't want to pill pop. I am tried when I go to bed and sometimes nod off for a bit but then wake up again and often stay awake until 3 or 4 am, sometimes all night. It is making me grumpy and susceptible to bugs, it is also a viscous circle in as much as I end up thinking about my mum and whether I will get to sleep. I can't settle well in our spare room, but go in there for my nocturnal activities, watching movies,reading and staring at the ceiling. I am frequently disturbed by the volcanic snoring that my OH omits and when he blows on me in his sleep He can sleep anywhere any time and does it v loudly! He has been banished to the spare room, but is now refusing to go as he is woken by 'my' cockerel at 4am!!!! Any advice is welcome as I maybe heading off to the doctors again for some knock out drops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I suppose you've cut out late night caffeine etc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckmum6 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 I suppose you've cut out late night caffeine etc? I don't drink tea or coffee, so caffeine isn't an issue, I have tried warm milk though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I really like Rescue Remedy Night - it comes in a spray or a neat little capsule that melts on your tongue - 3 for 2 in Boots at the moment too. I tend to suffer from an over active mind at night (would be great in the daytime!),& this has really helped. I HATE my Husband breathing on me at night too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I don't normally suffer but a couple of weeks back, something stopped me from sleeping and a friend recommended these and I found them to be very effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quickcluck Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Tried Melatonin? My mum swears by it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadietoo Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Have you tried Meditation....it's good for clearing the mind, but also sends me to sleep every time. The way I've read to do it is just to concentrate on your breathing, whilst you say to yourself on the in breath "Breathe in, I know I am breathing in", and on the out breath, "breathe out, I know I am breathing out". Don't try to regulate your breathing or change it. It sounds silly but it is really relaxing. When your mind starts to wander (as it will) bring it back to the breathe in/breathe out thing...i've never managed to do this for more than a few minutes before dropping off to sleep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Dried hops and lavender under your pillow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 OH came across this this while working away from home. Its not cheap but it does seem to work and I find I wake feeling more rested. He's also trying out an app for his phone that turns the screen blue, you have to match your breathing to the light being on/off. I'm not convinced about this though. He also has installed a program on the laptop called flux that alters the light balance on my laptop screen, I can still clearly use the laptop but the glare is less harsh and therefore less exciting to the eye and brain. It might help if you're using your laptop before bedtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach chick Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 a lavender spray on your pillow could help? I've found it works tho could be completely subliminal... also deep breathing/relaxation exercises. my problem is not dropping off, but if I wake after say 4.30 I can kiss goodbye to sleep til the following night!! not sure if that is better or worse, but you are not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chicken bark Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I would try to make sure that you are physically tired (ie had a lot of fresh air walking, gardening, hen house cleaning etc.). Don't use a computer after 9pm (oh I've missed that deadline ), have your milk, lavender smells etc., then read a chapter of a light hearted book before you turn the light out and don't discuss any bills, family issues, shopping lists etc with your OH after you get into bed and read. Reading should be the last thing before you turn out the light. In the past I wore one of those eye masks and ear plugs to block out the day and enter my own little world else I couldn't switch off. You need to break the habit of getting up and putting the TV on. If I do wake up and can't settle I walk around the bedroom, get back into bed read a bit more and go off to sleep again. I really hope you get it sorted - lack of sleep is torture for yourself and those around you. Wishing you luck. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Ditch your clock, I find that waking up and looking at the clock and seeing the dreaded 3am makes it very difficult to get back to sleep. Not knowing helps me enormously as does reading a book. If I don't get back to sleep quickly at least I have read something and the time was well spend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckmum6 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks everyone I'll calling to Boots to try some of the remedies suggested, I'm sure tapping away on my iPad last thing isn't conducive and I'll try banning myself from it before I go to bed from tomorrow on. Surprisingly I can have walked miles and had lots of fresh air, but still can't get off. It's really frustrating! Good night (I'll try the breathing tip now) and thank you again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Have you tried visualisation techniques (says the great insomniac). Spend about a minute listening to your breathing and stop your mind drifting off to other things, keep bringing it back to your breathing. Then spend a minute concentrating on some part of your body, any even somewhere that's giving you the gip and keep binging it back as your mind wanders. Just think about that bit of your body. Next think of what keeps worrying you and keep on the fact, don't let your mind wander off thinking about what could have happened or create scenes of what could happen now to you or anyone else just keep bringing it back. To you your mum has died so keep thinking of that, or keep thinking I'm not going to see my mum now or whatever the thought is that's worrying you and keep to that. Hope it helps you get some sleep. I know what you mean about the snoring wind Try and get sleepwear that covers your back or I just build a ridge of bedding or give him a poke so he turns over, trouble is that wakes him up and that wakes me up more. Can't win Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I do 2 things when i cant "switch off" 1. I clench every individual part of my body and hold for about 10 seconds, then release, so it would be clench toes, hold, release. clench feet, hold, release... you need to really focus on this, push everything out of your mind while you do it, if you think about anything else then you need to start again. when i've completed this (and I include head, face, back of neck, etc with this) then I "open" my toes, from my toes pours a thick golden gloopy liquid (visualise this) and let it spread its warmth (veeeerrrryyy slowly) up your body, when it gets to the top of your brain then slowly empty. admittedly Ive never actually got to the "emptying" part cos im usually asleep the second is this. 2. your mind is a room...everything in the room needs to be emptied before you go to sleep. visualise a little work-man (step ladder, dungarees, cap - you get the sort of man ) coming into you brain to remove all parts. he will remove each thing on its own, as soon as another part comes into your mind, the little man takes it away. repeat until you sleep I now think that most of the forum think I am bonkers , but, honestly, give it a go and good luck. ((hugs)) cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saronne Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I massage my own feet when I can't sleep - particularly the soles - and find it very relaxing. Saronne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C&T Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 When I can't sleep,it is usally because my brain won't switch off and is bouncing all over the place, so I try to keep it focussed on one thing, and that often helps. I usually count... Either counting normally, visuallising the numbers as I get to them, or trying to double numbers, (1, 2, 4, 8, 16 etc) working out the next number gives my brain one thing the focus on, and I usually drift off. My only other thought is, if your sleep issues are "solely" to do with losing your mum, is it worth seeing someone like a councellor to talk it through? Treat the cause rather than the sympton if you know what I mean. Good luck - sleep deprivation is never good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I find that the muscle clenching thing suggested by Cooperwife works for me I also try not to do anything too thought provoking before bed. I have found that excercise late in the day stops me from sleeping because it releases too much adrenaline and endorphins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..lay a little egg for me Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 My only other thought is, if your sleep issues are "solely" to do with losing your mum, is it worth seeing someone like a councellor to talk it through? Treat the cause rather than the sympton if you know what I mean. Good luck - sleep deprivation is never good! I agree, that it might be worth talking things through with a counsellor. I think it takes a long, long time to adjust to losing a loved one. I used to manage to get to sleep but had horrible dreams where my parents were still alive but berating me for selling their house and stuff...I knew I was dreaming but could not wake up. This went on for well over a year. It was very disturbing. Now I can't sleep because of the hot flushes but that's another story... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Love your techniques Cathy, especially the gloop. Will let you know if it works for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkysmum Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Chuckmum, I don't know what age you are but I am now "of a certain age" and I have found that sleeplessness just goes with the territory. I am frequently up & about at 4 am and don't feel resentful anymore. Re volcanic snoring I found relief in earplugs. They really do work, not very glam but effective. Hope you find something which works. Alli x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I use earplugs to block out the noise form next doors 9 month old who wakes at 5am and screams for the first couple of hours of every day Brilliant, and I can never understand why more folk don't use them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I use earplugs to block out the noise form next doors 9 month old who wakes at 5am and screams for the first couple of hours of every day Brilliant, and I can never understand why more folk don't use them. Me too, you really can get a good nights sleep with them. On holiday I took an eye mask and earplugs; they were invaluable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovychook Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I use earplugs to block out the noise form next doors 9 month old who wakes at 5am and screams for the first couple of hours of every day Brilliant, and I can never understand why more folk don't use them. I always take them when we go to a festival but can never get the blinkin things to stay in my ears! I have to hold them in place quite forcefully which somewhat defeats the object! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Where is the best place to buy earplugs? Chemists? I have a heavy snorer of a husband who also can;t sleep without the radio blaring and it has driven me mad for the 24 years that we have lived together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
