Cinnamon Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 My daughter is sharing a house which she found with 4 other girls from August onwards for her second year of Uni. She has paid a £480 deposit which covers a period of rent & also has to pay another £400 for damage insurance which she will hopefully get back. As I mentioned,she did all the work in finding the house,she is the lead tenant,so has had to deal with the agents & the landlord & has generally done everything to secure the house for them. So what did the other 4 girls do? They got together yesterday when my daughter was away & drew straws to decide who got which room. The teeny tiny box room,which is downstairs,has little light & is the one no one wanted has,surprise surprise,been allocated to my daughter She is really upset & has been in tears,which as this is the start of her end of year exam period,is not great timing. They are refusing to do the draw again with my daughter there,as it 'won't be fair' Stupid thing is that one girl said from the off that she would have the little room (it has no shelving or storage either),but changed her mind last week about her decision...as my daughter said,if they had known that they would have looked around for a place with 5 more evenly sized rooms to begin with! I am livid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 Your daughter probably needs to sit down with the girls, remind them of her contributions and simply say that she wishes the draw to be done again so that things are fair It sounds like they are trying to make a four bed house in to a five bed house which wont ever have a good outcome for one girl - even if they do the draw again someone will be upset (possibly even your daughter again) unless they can get the originally willing girl to take the room In the great scheme of things surely a small room isnt the end of the world? if its been a uni digs for some years others will have had the same room and got through it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 27, 2012 Author Share Posted May 27, 2012 In the great scheme of things surely a small room isnt the end of the world? if its been a uni digs for some years others will have had the same room and got through it No,you are right,it isn't the end of the world,BUT she went through the leasing of the house on the understanding that one particular girl was 100% going to have that little room,as that is what she wanted. It is very small - just a single bed & a desk - no other storage at all, & it also next to the TV which could mean late night disturbances. I am sure it would be fine for a boy,but not for a girl with clothes,make-up ^&so forth to consider...... She knows she needs to sit down & calmly talk it through with them,but she is so cross that they did this thing without her there that she is feeling let down,over ruled & angry at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 My son was the same as your daughter, he found the flat, did all the work and paid the booking deposit (only about £100) BUT there was no question he wouldn't get the biggest room. It seems to me that they can't possibly justify drawing straws when your daughter wasn't there . As she did all the work, she really should get first pick but if that can't be agreed upon, then they need to draw again. I agree, a small room isn't the end of the world but if she'd got it fairly through the draw, fair enough, but she wasn't even given the chance . They can't be serious saying it isn't fair to do it again, surely . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angeluk69 Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 I think she needs to just sit down with the other girls, and have 'that' conversation regarding money, bills, and how things should be divided. She just needs to be very clear about the fact that she did do all the sorting and has put herself in the firing line with the landlord in case of problems, and as she has done this she deserves the respect of being included in house decisions. At the end of the day, no one wants to cause a situation with friends but when she has put her own money into something, why should she have to sleep in the broom cupboard. She should ask that it is done again with everyone present so then it is fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 Well I hope that the small room = less rent? Would only seem fair Seems very odd that they drew straws when they weren't all there and it just so happens that the person that wasn't there got the small room....just saying....Suspicious mind and all that. I hope your daughter is ok. Things like this are stress and upset she could definitely do without x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 27, 2012 Author Share Posted May 27, 2012 That is exactly my point Looney - it is odd,isn't it? Also she doesn't know HOW it was done - that is,were all 5 names in the hat & the small room drawn first,so they ahd an equal chance of getting it,or was it left to the last person? Or was a name drawn & that person chose a room? Too many ifs & buts for my liking - she is going to ask for it to be done again or she says she wants out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 This is awful Sarah, and I can't see it having a happy ending whatever happens next. It sounds like it's already a bit cliquey, if they did this without her present. If they don't draw again, your daughter is going to feel cheated. every time she gets frustrated about the lack of space, she'll feel cheated; when the TV is loud and she is trying to sleep, she'll be reminded of it all. If they draw again and someone else gets the room, they will be unhappy. I doubt they have any understanding of what your daughter has done for them... unless someone has been in that position themselves, they rarely appreciate the work and effort involved. It does seem remarkable that the person who wasn't there got the least attractive room. Even if that genuinely did happen, it is so unlikely that it doesn't bode well for trust in future situations. The best way to do the draw would be to have two bowls. One containing the five names, one containing the 5 rooms. A ticket is pulled from each bowl to match person to room. I hope she gets things sorted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 I originally found our house and offered to be lead tenant but someone else wanted to be so was happy for that. I chased up the internet most days for 5 months, sorted 2 new housemates for this year but people don't realise how much effort it is until you ask them to ring and sort it, then had it back to you to sort! We had the 8 room numbers in a bowl and each picked a number which was fair enough but we were all there. People could have swapped between themselves but were fairly happy. Next year 1 person is moving from the smallest to the biggest room (is 2 or 3 times bigger) as that room will be available but we still all pay the same rent, same share of bills etc It is very small - just a single bed & a desk - no other storage at all, & it also next to the TV which could mean late night disturbances.I am sure it would be fine for a boy,but not for a girl with clothes,make-up &so forth to consider...... Umm, don't think thats very fair... Spose girls also have the kitchen and bathroom though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 27, 2012 Author Share Posted May 27, 2012 Oi cheeky! You know what I mean....girls have more 'stuff' & Lit students in particular have heaps of anthologies to house too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 27, 2012 Author Share Posted May 27, 2012 The best way to do the draw would be to have two bowls. One containing the five names, one containing the 5 rooms. A ticket is pulled from each bowl to match person to room. I hope she gets things sorted out. That sounds like a perfect way to have decided it all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfer_chicken Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 That's such a shame My boyfriend's brother, who is in his third year at uni, is sharing a house of 5 which has one large room, they swap rooms every term so everyone gets a share of the 'best' room. Could they not do the same? It turned out to be not that much hassle as they virtually completely packed up all their belongings to go home for the holidays anyway. There's been a lot of good advice on this thread already, but at the end of the day if the other house mates are unwilling to talk about this in a mature way and sort out the rooms again, are they really going to be the people your daughter wants to spend a year living with? I'm really not looking forward to having to do this myself in a years time. I'm usually left organising things with my group of friends at the moment so I can imagine I'll be in your daughters position too Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 Sharing with friends certainly does flush out certain issues that's for sure! I always ended up with the attic room (no window or small skylight) which actually suited me fine. Those that fought for the big rooms regretted it.....winter in Bradford in draughty old houses, half-rotten sash windows and no central heating...brrrr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 Really unfair! Perhaps she could tell the others that, unless they have another draw with all present, she will be paying a reduced rent as her room is smaller! Either that, or she will be doing reduced chores in order to make up for the small room; hopefully that will make them think a bit more about what they have done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 I agree Sarah, this has been decided in a totally thoughtless and undemocratic manner. How very immature and unfair of them. We used to draw straws for the rooms unless anyone had a definite preference, then the rent was divvied up depending on the size of the room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatieB Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 We priced rooms according to size, as one was big with an en suite and one was very small. Someone wanted the small one due to the price difference, and then the others were sorted fairly. The way your daughter has been treated is terrible, how can they even think its fair... and to be told after the event Surely everything needs to be decided by agreement??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 That seems very unfair, there is no way they should have drawn for rooms without everyone there. I would feel as miffed as your DD. I hope that she can persuade them to redraw otherwise they won't be getting off to a very good start together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 DD just spent 2 years in the smallest room in the house (no, not the toilet! ). She had a bed with under bed storage, a desk and a tiny tiny wardrobe. She was also given a table out on the landing and allowed to spill out into the landing area. She managed as she is not a girly girl and has next to no clothes, shoes etc. BUT.......... she paid much less rent than the others because of the size of the room. This was not decided by the housemates, but by the landlady. Maybe your DD could have a word with the landlady about the size of the room and ask about re pricing it? Maybe that would appeal to one of the other girls who might then take the smaller room at a reduced rate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia W Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 The landlady may rent the house per room. It sounds as though they have rented the whole house as a group. Hope she solves it - it's a good problem solving exercise and if she sorts this, she'll learn some valuable life lessons - one of which is don't trust your friends. My daughter always went with a mixed group. I think it's more civilized than a group of all girls or all blokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 This all sounds familiar. Both my daughters had a similar problem. My oldest had the smallest room, and ended up doing all the admin/bill paying, but she at least paid a little less rent. My youngest (who has another year to go at the art college in Winchester) also has the smallest room and does the bill paying - the house 'mates' had resolved this by suggesting that the girl with the largest room should pay for the TV licence, but this fell through after the aforementioned girl had a wobbly and said it 'wasn't fair'. It concerns me, Cinnamon, about the way this was all decided without your daughter being there - this doesn't bode well for other decisions which have to be reached. Isn't it hard to let our kids sort things out themselves....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KimmyCustard Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 Not very nice of them was it? I wonder if your DD should ask them how they would feel if they were the one not at the draw then told she has the small room? I would be 'advising' them that the draw is redone with the 2 bowls and all girls present or they swap rooms each term as someone else suggested. Naughty..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Doing the draw again might still result in your daughter getting the small room. I still don't think this is fair. One of the girls had agreed to go into the small room, and this is the agreement under which the arrangement was made. I don't think there should be any chance of your daughter having the small room. I hate things that are this unfair. It does sound a bit cliquey already, these girls don't seem like people I'd want to share with. Could your daughter find another four girls and kick these girls out of the equation? Or start again finding another house? She will need a stable living environment to enable her to get down to her studies. Hope this all works out x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 My daughter,being my daughter,has gone into a bit of a sulk over all that has happened & even though some of the others are asking to get together to chat,she is resisting (much to my annoyance!) I suspect she will have to grin & bear it - she has signed the contract now & ,as she rightly said,anyone advertising a spare room will probably be advertising the smallest,least desirable room at this stage anyhow I am still very cross about it all,but am leaving her to it for the moment. She has had 2 exams over the past week,has 2 more next week,isn't sleeping very well & has also had my marital problems troubling her,so I am just supporting her as much as I possibly can. My Husband & I are hoping to visit 'the cupboard under the stairs',as it has become known,to take a look & try to sort out some storage solutions for her,at least Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I hope things work out for you all Cinnamon. We've just had a visit from DD2 (term has finished but she has a round of parties before she comes back for the summer!) - she said that they have resolved the big room/little room problem in her house now. They are all staying in their student house for another year, and those who had the biggest rooms have swapped with the two who had the smallest rooms for their last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
