Looney Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So sorry to hear about your Dad My Uncle died last year, totally unexpected, aged 58. My Aunt and cousins got things sorted out (dressed him in his every day comfy clothes and his slippers in his coffin ) but it took time to work through things and please don't beat yourself up if you don't immediately think of everything that needs doing, some things slip the net and only come to light later on (subscriptions, old accounts). My Aunt is now just about ready to sort out my Uncles stuff and his shed and garage. My Dad is going to help her, she couldn't face doing it earlier and I expect it will be a painful process for them both. Lots of good advice given here. And there are lots of ears and shoulders whenever you need them. Hugs xxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Pudding Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So sorry to hear about your Dad. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I can't add anything to the good advice others have offered, but am glad uni are being so supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So sorry - hugs and love Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coco Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So sorry, my thoughts are with you and your Mum. I can't really add to the advice already given. My Mum died suddenly many years ago so I know what a shock it will have been.Hugs to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcountrygirl Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Best thing to do would be to contact a Solicitor who will advise you how to apply for a Grant of Letters of Administration. This is what they use for someone who dies without a will in place. It would have to be your Mum who would be granted this as it usually has to be a Spouse. They will also be able to advise you on what to do about the bank etc. You need to speak to one quickly so it can be put in place. Most Solicitors give half an hour free advice time on an initial visit. So sorry to hear your news. Hope you can find the strength to keep going through this sad time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I would like to add my sincerest condolences to you and your family. What a horrible shock for you all. I can't add anything to all the fabulous advice given, but do try and accept help from anyone who offers. And take care of yourself as you'll be no use if you run yourself ragged. Don't forget, we are all here for you. Many virtual (((hugs))) coming to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I'm really sorry Glad Uni are being supportive - you should be able to get extended deadlines or as you say, do your exams in August. As you're in First year (I think) you will need to pass but the grades aren't usually taken into account for your final degree grade so look after yourself and your family and think about Uni when you're up to it. My flatmate's dad passed away in first year, also unexpectedly and Uni were also supportive - Student Loans were able to help him and I think they have a team for these kind of situations. Sending virtual brummy hugs too x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I am so so sorry for your loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you and your family. Jane X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mollyripkim Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I am so sorry about your dad, what a terrible shock for you all, can't offer any advice other than what has been said, just that take care of yourself, sending many condolences and virtual hugs. Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counturchickens Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Just to add, so sorry. You must feel completely shocked. Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gongladosh Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 indeed, really sorry to hear it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superkitty Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Really sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvachicken Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Have only just read this and wanted to send the biggest hug to you and your family. Losing a loved one is never easy, but things will get easier in time. Sending much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Really sorry to hear about your dad - he was so young. Thinking of you all and hoping that you are beginning to get to grips with the 1001 things that need to be done. Its difficult to take all these practicalities in when you are so full of grief; take care of yourself too - sending hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 So sorry to hear this, what a terrible shock...and so young! I can't add to the practical advicec you've already been given, but I did want to add my condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C&T Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Sending some more virtual hugs from a complete stranger. You will have a lot on your plate for the next few weeks - just don't forget to look after yourself, and give yourself time to grieve. As others have said, accept all the help you are offered - don't feel you have to do everything. And when you do go back to Uni, it might be worth seeing what counselling they offer - it might help you through a tough time of re-adjustment. You and your family are in my T&P's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisP Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 So sorry to hear your news Don't worry about anything to do with uni; they are very good at helping you deal with work/deadlines/exams when this type of circumstance happens. 1st year (are you in 1st year?) just has to be passed with most courses, as Lewis said. Don't have any other helpful information to add, just that it'll be important for you to take care of yourself at this time, not just those around you. I hope you find things easier soon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Sorry to hear the sad news. I send my condolences to you and your family and a big hug for you. Your dad is watching over you xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 So sorry to hear your news Penny. That must have been such a shock. No advice to add except remember this will take time to recover from when the initial activity and shock has passed. You may find taking your exams in Aug to be too much when it comes to it and repeating the year is not the end of the world. Look after yourself and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 My condolences to you and your family. Once the initial arrangements are made and you return to your studies I recommend that you seek counselling for yourself. Your University will have a counselling service and I suggest you do speak to them to help you through this difficult time. Love and a long hug from me x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Sorry to hear such sad news. As others have said make sure you give yourself time to come to terms with all that has happened. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfer_chicken Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 Thank you again for all your kind words and help. We've had a lot of help over the weekend, with my grandparents down to look after my mum and lots of family to help us with jobs. My Dad was halfway through decorating my little brother's(14) room, so my future brother-in-law who's a self-employed decorator was finishing that; my uncle has done all the small DIY jobs Dad never got around to doing and his wife helped my mum go through all Dad's paperwork so she knows what she's doing now. My Mum and Dad made a will together when they bought our house over 27 years ago, it was some sort of package deal with the solicitor. She remembers the name of the man they saw, and we have the documents from buying the house, but nothing to do with the will. She rang the solicitor this morning and they said they have no record of us and or the name of the solicitor they saw (who Mum thinks died a couple of years ago, and he retired from the company in 2000, but he seemed like quite a big part of the company growing, so we're surprised they didn't know of him). Apparently the will was quite basic though, that everything would go to which ever of them went first, so it's not much to worry about at the moment. She's also contacted the mortgage people as it was a joint mortgage and to see if they knew anything about the will. Also my aunts (Dad's sister) husband is a funeral director so he's going through all of that side of things very well with us. Mum needs to pick up the death certificate etc. tomorrow morning and then we can start thinking about dates, but it won't be until at least next week. I'm going back to uni Wednesday afternoon until Saturday morning because I have some more things I need to pick up as I left in a hurry. It'll also be nice to see my friends up there, as all my friends at home are at their own universities at the moment. I'm not sure if I'll go to any lectures or my lab at the moment, I might for something to do, and I'll definitely head down to the counselling service the uni runs. I am in first year, I'm 19, so I know I only really need to pass. I sort of had my heart set on the masters degree they run though, which is a year in placement between 3rd and 4th year. To be considered for that you need to have a high GPA, but it's high at the moment and I'm sure the uni will take it into consideration when the time comes for applying for the masters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 It sounds like you've got a good support network around you in such a difficult time. Hope your trip to uni goes ok, I guess you can see how you feel when you get there as to whether you go into lectures and it will be good to have your housemates around you for a few days. Take care of yourself xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheeky Chooky Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I'm so very sorry to hear that your Dad passed away Big *hug* to you and your family x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
